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| Many people underestimate the power of charm. These are the same types of people who give up easily.
I have gotten into a sold-out concert for free, gotten free food (once, it was a catered event and I wasn't invited), gotten my math teacher to change my grade, gotten myself employed...
One of the things you have to understand about charm is that you can use it to get things you want. You can also use it to win people over.
I discovered this back in high school when I was performing a song at the talent show my high school organizes. I changed the song last minute and I added a guitar player, however I didn't tell the person who was organizing the show with enough time beforehand. In my mind, I didn't think it would be a big deal because I just needed an extra chair for him to sit beside me, they wouldn't need to add an extra mic or anything. No biggie right?
Wrong. Apparently, since he would be sitting beside me (we were doing an acoustic set), the whole lighting scheme would change. One spotlight wouldn't be big enough for both of us.
I was trying my hardest to convince the woman supervisor, but she wouldn't let me perform the song because it was last minute and it wasn't written into the script. And then the male teacher who was incharge of the whole production came in and asked what was wrong. I told him my case. At the end, he said it was no problem, and I was able to perform the song I wanted to. He pulled me in for a hug (which was kind of uncomfortable for me), but I let him hug me anyway because of what he just did for me.
And that was the start of me realizing what my womanly charm could do.
Men can charm too, so if you're male and you're reading this, don't feel disadvantaged.
I was at a bookstore today, and the bookstore owner, a man in his 40s tried to get me to buy more books by referring to me as the "pretty young lady". He wasn't hitting on me and I didn't find him creepy. It's completely fine to dole out compliments. Infact, I found his friendliness quite genuine and it makes me want to continue being a customer. I should also add that there are many men out there who use their charm to seduce women into one-night stands, and it works quite often.
The other time when I got both me and my then-boyfriend into the sold out show for free, the boyfriend complained that it seemed like I was begging and he was ashamed of standing next to me.
From one perspective, yes, getting things for free after persuading people to give them to you is similar to begging. On the other hand, I see it as using powerful convincing skills to get what you need. I explained to the guy incharge of the doors that I absolutely had to see the band that was sold out and if I could, I'd pay money to see them because they were one of my favourite acts. He was hesitant at first, but in the end, after seeing my determination, both me and the boyfriend got in for free. We saved $45 each! Woohoo!
There was a journalist who came to my university to speak. She was once captured in a foreign country and held in prison. After the guards checked to see that she was indeed a journalist and not a spy, they let her go. There was only one problem, all of her belongings were in her car, which was in an enemy territory. She managed to convince the guards to retrieve all of her things!
If you're reading this, wondering how this blog post applies to you, here are some lessons you can take away:
1. Don't take no for an answer, there is a way around things most of the time.
2. Don't be afraid to ask for more.
3. You can get people to like you and to help you out using charm.
Have fun! | | |
| 1. Intelligent I like men who can carry an intelligent conversation, men who I don't have to explain things to, men who are sharp, who can speak eloquently, who understand things. They don't have to be able to discuss Nietzsche, but they have to be able to form their own opinions instead of blindly follow the crowd. 2. Family man/ good with kids I recently watched The Prestige starring Christian Bale, and it was wonderful to see him interact with his movie daughter. He completely amazed her, made her believe he was magic. You can see that he also really cared for his wife. Affection is attractive. 3. Charming There's no doubt that someone who is engaging is definitely more attractive than someone who just sits there silently or is grumpy all the time. In The Notebook, Ryan Gosling tried so hard to get a date with Rachel McAdams; climbing on ferris wheels, tap dancing on the spot... :) 4. Passionate Passionate people are interesting, people without passion are boring. Simple fact. It doesn't matter what he is interested in, as long as he cares enough. There is something so sexy about a man with a passion. 5. Artistic I'm into the artistic types: musicians, poets, writers, actors, painters, film directors... I like my men to have an appreciation for art and to understand it. It shows culture and sensitivity. 6. Honest To put it bluntly: liars and cheats are unattractive, therefore honest men are attractive. 7. Mature As much as I'd like to date someone my age (18), it gets tiring after a while when all you hear are raves about videogames and comic books. I'd like someone to take me out to nice dinners, art galleries and theatres. 8. Spiritual/ philosophical I like a man to be in touch with his soul. It shows that he's not shallow and superficial. 9. Modest A cocky attitude is not attractive no matter what. Men who are confident in themselves are more attractive when they don't go showing off whatever they may have. People that go around boasting about themselves need to grow up. 10. Confidence Modesty doesn't mean being insecure. Confidence is attractive because it shows that you're sure of yourself and that you know who you are. It means you can think for yourself and that people can't easily sway you. 11. Can cook There is a soft spot in my heart for men who can cook. It's impressive if a guy can cook since most men usually can't cook. It's also a nice treat for a woman to sit back and be served by her man. What do you think? Did I miss anything that you would add? | | |
| This was written a week ago, but I hadn't gotten around to publishing it. On Wednesday, I went with my church to go see The I-Heart Movie. It's a well-done movie which the trailer doesn't give justice to. I went into the theatre not wanting to be there, wondering "what in the world have I gotten myself into?" Hold on, before you continue reading, if you haven't already, click on the link and watch the trailer.
It's an inspirational Christian movie, and it made me realize a couple of things.
One of them being that I feel that it is harder to say that you are Christian these days, than to admit that you're gay. I find this ironic because it used to be the opposite a few years ago.
Here's why I think this: First of all, when people hear that you're a Christian, they automatically assume that you're all self-righteous and hypocritical, or like a cheesy Ned Flanders, or even a conservative goody-two shoes. They think you've got a disease or something. If you don't believe me, you should hear how a few people at my old workplace talk about Christians.
On the other hand, its easier to be gay these days because of all the media discourse they get about their issues. Gay people are seen as victims of society. Of course, it was different a few years back, but now this is what it is.
Christians are seen as hypocritical because:
1. The Crusades, where lots of innocent (and not so innocent) people were killed through a religious battle by Christians.
However, anyone who is familiar with the Bible will know that killing people is not something Christians are supposed to do. The best I can do to explain the Crusades is that the people in command of the killing sprees weren't influenced by God, but rather a different source. It is tragic that the image of God was distorted by these killers.
2. There are many people out there today that claim they are Christian, but don't live out a life that reflects God. From little things like swearing, to even bigger things like pre-marital sex, non-believers only see hypocrites. Non-believers see Christians sinning and setting bad examples again and again, which leads to Christianity as a whole to seem like a big lie.
Of course, no one is perfect, which is why we need God in the first place. Through our weaknesses, we begin to see his strength. Non-Christians need to see that Christians are just people too, and not judge the religion based on the mistakes Christians make.
3. Sometimes, Christians aren't very loving, but seem more judgmental. The movie, I-Heart, showed a person holding up a sign that said "GOD HATES FAGS", which isn't true. God loves everyone, its just that He created woman to be with man. It says in Leviticus 20:13, "If a man has sex with a man as one does with a woman, both of them have done what is abhorrent". God does not hate "fags", but rather, hates the sin of homosexuality. | | |
| Life has it's up and downs, but I discovered something. Usually, I'm the happy bubbly one, but lately, I've been trying to change it up a bit. I figured out this week that it's completely okay for other emotions to show too. I know this sounds really obvious, like if you're sad, don't pretend to be happy or anything. But that's exactly what I've been doing for the past month. I thought that no one would want to see me sad, so I acted like I was happy, even if I was unhappy with some situations. I guess I didn't want to disappoint anyone, so I ended up not being true to myself. However, if you're visably upset, people will try to make you happy again, so that you're genuinely happy instead of just pretending to yourself. So go on, don't be afraid to show that frown! | | |
| I just read a book where this psychologist can study your behaviour with your significant other for about 15 minutes and determine whether you will break up in the future with a 95% rate of accuracy. If you knew that your relationship was going to fail before you started it, would you keep trying to learn from it, or would you pursue another relationship? And why? | | |
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